Measuring your bond with your partner can feel unachievable when life is happening. But these are little things that you can do daily to improve your relationships over time.
So if you really want to improve your relationship,here are couple of tips that will help you do so.
1.Become an expert in empathy.
Now one of the earliest lessons that we learned growing up is to put yourself in someone else’s shoes because it introduces you to the concept of empathy. Now empathy is about more than just acknowledging someone’s feelings. It’s also about trying to understand how basically these feelings are influencing their actions.
It’s easy to lose sight of empathy in the heat of an argument because, for instance, your partner’s point of view stands in the way of yours and you know perhaps if only you could make them see it your way then you know, the argument would be over right? But this kind of thinking actually stops you from showing empathy because it tries to simply remove your partner as an obstacle and it doesn’t stop to question why they’re actually pushing back. You know, in the first place.
When someone feels listened to and empathize with, they’re more likely to continue to open up and to share more, which leads to more intimacy and closeness overall, when a person feels shut down, like they’re never listened to, they will shut down over time.
And this can chip away at a relationship and result in superficial communication and increased emotional separation over time, not what you’re looking for.
2.Identify your emotional triggers.
Everyone has their do not push button an argument, you know, that one topic that can launch you into complete insanity, into that irrational stratosphere of anger in mere seconds.
The reason that these things hit so differently is likely tied to past hurt or trauma. That may be you may have experienced for example, say you grew up with an abusive parent who took advantage of the other working parent. If you feel like your partner has stopped contributing to the housework recently, you may become disproportionately mad if they don’t clear the table after dinner for instance, suddenly, something relatively insignificant like an unclean table is a launchpad for major fight.
Learning to identify your emotional triggers and more importantly, why you react to them will help you become a better communicator, self reflection and some introspection is key to anyone’s emotional growth. And the more you can understand your reactions the more productive your conversations and more open your conversations can be. Once you come to understand what’s really going on with you. You can begin to explain to your partner why such things trigger you so much and so easily.
So you can both find a solution to it together in a loving, reassuring way.
3.Know when to yield.
Now one of the hardest things to do during a conflict is to stop and REDIRECT FOCUS.
We’ve all said that wrong thing that we wish we could take back after we weren’t so angry. Have you ever drafted that strongly worded message to stration but you know, after calming down, maybe took some of the venom out of that message before hitting the send button. I mean being able to break down shift and reassess your feelings is a good way to maintain a healthy social connection.
If you’re in an argument with your partner that seems to be getting a little too heated. See if there’s an opportunity for you to hit the pause button.
Walk out of the room, go for a walk revisit the issue once both of you have had a chance to breathe to settle to calm down. Never utter words you haven’t given yourself ample time to think about, you know, because a word spoken can never be taken back on hood.
Let’s be honest, your partner is a pretty special person. Otherwise you wouldn’t have chosen to be with them right you are likely to drawn to the qualities in them that made them intriguing.
being intimate with someone means staying interested in ever curious basically about who they are and how they think and this kind of curiosity and interest can be amplified during communication as well.
Now while it may be tough to do so during the fight, you can take some time afterwards to connect with your partner and objectively explore the choices they’ve made and allow them to explore your thought process as well.
Sometimes exploring how communication can evolve can navigate your choices the next time that you guys actually have conversation.
5.Read between the lines.
Now an argument between two strangers is largely two dimensional because you don’t know them, They don’t know you. one person hurls an insult, The other person may give them their peace of mind. It usually fizzles out everybody goes their own way.
Now this usually isn’t the case for romantic partners who can bring years of baggage expectations resentment, history to quarrels. Often with couples what they’re arguing about on the surface is into what they’re actually fighting about.
If you know we were to actually dig a little deeper and ask questions. Most of these arguments are actually about an unmet need, which is often that one or both people feel like they’re not being taken care of in some way. in order to identify what’s happening under the surface couples need to think deeply about what they’re really asking for and make sure they communicate that.
sometimes that the arguments and the anger is deeper than what they did today. It’s not just about leaving the coffee mug on the table. It’s way deeper than that. And sometimes you need to dig a little deeper ask a few more questions to be able to get to the bottom of what’s really ticking them off.
6.Be slow to anger and quick to listen.
So during a spat tempers flare egos inflate the battle gets underway. A heated argument can sometimes feel like going to war but as we rushed to, fortify our defenses, deploy a secret weapons. Are we stopping to actually hear a partner’s out? We’re talking to mate it’s easy to fall back on all the exaggerations or whole partners past behavior against them.
You might even get mad all over again when we think back to their past actions. The problem is that we allow our anger to cloud our apartment in the present even if they may have acted selfishly in the past.
It doesn’t mean that selfishness is what is driving them right now driving them today. When we don’t listen to our partners, we deny them the opportunity to be validated and feel loved.
Your relationship cannot move into the future if you’re still fighting someone from the past and this is something that a lot of people do.as soon as there’s an argument, go and take something from the previous years, and you will be like you did this to me and I’ll never forget and you did this.
There’s there’s no way that a relationship can proceed or continue to grow. If there are continuous references to past failures or past faults.
If you really want to see growth in relationships, you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that your partner let you down at some point but came back and was willing to make amends and you need to get past that point where you’re willing to accept that they came back made amends and move on from there.
Else you will never be able to heal properly. And grow from there. And onward.
finally if you want to strengthen your relationship, don’t just passively listen to your partner. Let them actually know that they’re being heard.
Reach out to them in ways that nobody else can. I mean, you know them that well. So use it to your advantage. Don’t let them use perfect strangers at work, ie their colleagues, their friends, as sounding boards, you have an unfair advantage as their partner you know the better than everybody else.
And so you should be the one using that to your advantage. Whenever they’re anxious whenever they’re in need of care, whatever they feel like nobody else understands that you should be the one stepping up to the challenge.
Well, I hope these tips were helpful if they were sharing with someone else who may find this beneficial and dont forget to drop a comment in the comment section.